Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just invented taco cereal.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
