There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
