i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
