I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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