Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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