The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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