I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
