I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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