I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
