You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
