My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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