It's Friday. Sex?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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