I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
