Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
