i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
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For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
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Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.