i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed