I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"