She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I deserve this hangover.