Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.

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  (334): how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs. http://tfl.nu/0f51
  Replies (19) Good night (865) Bad night (2116)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???

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  (970): Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas??? http://tfl.nu/mb80
  Replies (32) Good night (5259) Bad night (836)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.

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  (780): He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done. http://tfl.nu/315y
  Replies (19) Good night (4406) Bad night (2754)
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  (716): View more from New York

  If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.

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  (716): If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex. http://tfl.nu/vi35
  Replies (13) Good night (4402) Bad night (1217)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance

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  (905): something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance http://tfl.nu/l7ly
  Replies (7) Good night (1209) Bad night (3403)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window

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  (775): Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window http://tfl.nu/dk3n
  Replies (10) Good night (2048) Bad night (1045)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob

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  (302): Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob http://tfl.nu/818e
  Replies (2) Good night (2645) Bad night (1024)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.

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  (815): This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years. http://tfl.nu/zacn
  Replies (5) Good night (1617) Bad night (676)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.

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  (954): Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something. http://tfl.nu/6993
  Replies (3) Good night (835) Bad night (902)
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  (+33): View more from France

  And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".

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  (+33): And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?". http://tfl.nu/no4p
  Replies (4) Good night (785) Bad night (509)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.

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  (407): At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long. http://tfl.nu/ssq5
  Replies (8) Good night (644) Bad night (622)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager

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  (705): I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager http://tfl.nu/uera
  Replies (2) Good night (576) Bad night (522)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes

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  (580): Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes http://tfl.nu/f88p
  Replies (0) Good night (696) Bad night (328)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol

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  (214): I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol http://tfl.nu/v83q
  Replies (1) Good night (623) Bad night (342)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.

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  (865): Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting. http://tfl.nu/jtae
  Replies (2) Good night (400) Bad night (273)

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