last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
