Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time

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  (250): i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time http://tfl.nu/g1as
  Replies (19) Good night (2614) Bad night (672)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy

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  (361): dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy http://tfl.nu/hpc6
  Replies (28) Good night (2796) Bad night (918)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!

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  (917): I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time! http://tfl.nu/fe3b
  Replies (18) Good night (3014) Bad night (622)
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  (818): View more from California

  My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.

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  (818): My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert. http://tfl.nu/ehir
  Replies (38) Good night (1559) Bad night (3611)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.

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  (765): my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes. http://tfl.nu/hrf7
  Replies (8) Good night (4308) Bad night (562)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy

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  (512): He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy http://tfl.nu/obh2
  Replies (6) Good night (1483) Bad night (3320)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.

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  (931): drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes. http://tfl.nu/1e3m
  Replies (27) Good night (6427) Bad night (1321)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning

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  (203): First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning http://tfl.nu/rq6u
  Replies (16) Good night (3862) Bad night (1390)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.

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  (+44): I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this. http://tfl.nu/p3jk
  Replies (3) Good night (842) Bad night (2352)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.

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  (717): I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets. http://tfl.nu/exmx
  Replies (10) Good night (2593) Bad night (733)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic

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  (778): the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic http://tfl.nu/wmnz
  Replies (5) Good night (1253) Bad night (679)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"

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  (512): My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!" http://tfl.nu/srq7
  Replies (7) Good night (3012) Bad night (522)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)

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  (309): Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.) http://tfl.nu/zrht
  Replies (3) Good night (884) Bad night (278)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.

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  (647): He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well. http://tfl.nu/9cil
  Replies (3) Good night (753) Bad night (267)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away

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  (973): the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away http://tfl.nu/2zbx
  Replies (1) Good night (469) Bad night (543)

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