Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
