your room smells of hookers.
And success
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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