Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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