And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I have post one night stand depression
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
