Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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