i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
