bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You dont lie about slip and slides
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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