If that was your dad, he is hot
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize