glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
