You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
