Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
