Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
