That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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