My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
