I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
