It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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