VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
