He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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