You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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