i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
