How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
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I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
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Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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