Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
