doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
