I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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