Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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