dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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