Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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