Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
