i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
