were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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