She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
