You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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