i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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