We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
