So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
