girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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