im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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