I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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