Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
