If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
