So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
