I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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