So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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