Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
my poor anus
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
