So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
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The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
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I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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