we're blogging at a bar
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
