I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
