k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
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