my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies don't puke and tell
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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