oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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